Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 1980

 This is gonna be a big challenge for me. So far in my journey into going back to blogging, I've been talking about pop music from around 2000s to the 2020s which for the most part are my wheel house. I have also talked about how most of the songs I put on my best and worst lists didn't exactly align with the critical consesus and that's fine by me. But we are in a tricky territory because not only I'm going back to a time where my parents were in college or even working, but also facing a challenge talking about an infamous year.

Let's face it, a lot of people have pointed out how 1980 was such a bad year for the pop chart. The reason was very obvious and could be summed up in three words "Disco demolition night". After the oversaturation of disco in 1979 (no joke a lot of artists were doing disco records even the whitebread one), there's a mass campaign of "Disco Sucks" by a radio DJ and it turned into riot and the burning of disco records. Suddenly overnight disco seems to be the number one enemy. The aftermath of this was 1980 where a lot of critics are calling it one of the worst year in music with anything from AOR, country, folk, singer songwriter, and the rise of new wave to fill in the gap for mixed result.

I actually haven't talked about a mediocre year yet. The closest year that I would say is mediocre was 2001 and even then the streaming hits really came in clutch. But this is the closest to getting it because even though this year was the start of the infamous decade that was the 80s, This is practically the 70s with a hint of what's to come. And because of the disco bust a lot of the chart are filled with interchangable mess of AOR and easy listening pablum that has been forgotten to the sand of time.  Even though just outside the mainstream there's a lot going on with the weirder side of new wave and synthwave, punk, and a new emerging genre called hip-hop. Most of the year are working on the 5/10 and that's basically could justify being the worst year in pop music history. But I do think there are worse year like 1989, 2005, and 2018 to name a few. This year is really slim picking for great songs and that really what hold this year back. 

Now because the streaming information for 1980 was very tough to come by without extensive research, I decided to use not just Billboard Hot 100 Year-end, but also the Cashbox Year-end plus UK Charts one as well for added Worldwide appeal. Now put off your neon shoes and your NES because we are going Atari 2600 here as we count down!

THE TOP 10 WORST HIT SONGS OF 1980

10. Once again, 1980 was the year that after the countdown of New Year went zero, they don't have any interest to be the 70s anymore especially disco. Because of that, the chart became a weird experiment of which songs or trends could stick to a mixed result. Now that's one side of the chart that a lot of people have talked about a lot. But, the other side was to fill in the gap, radio decided to push the safest options. Because of that most of the worst list are gonna be talking more about 70s AOR and AM Radio backwash. For example:

10. Do That To Me One More Time - Captain & Tennille

As nobody amusement, Captain & Tenille made another critic's worst list. I mean it's obvious at this point that any retrospective about the cheesy 70s will always include this act. Now actually I was of the mindset that "they really can't be that bad I mean the bassline usually pretty good and Toni Tennille is a good singer". Until I listened to The Carpenters first album and now I get why they're hated. Back then, this duo was being marketed as the "sexier version" of The Carpenters and that really just plain wrong. The Carpenters worked so well because of the strength of Richard Carpenter's composition and Karen Carpenter's truly haunting yet beautiful vocals. 

Meanwhile Captain & Tennille using this song as example have basic sleepy productions and arrangement, Lyrics that's supposed to be sexy but with how basic it is—it became a slog, and Toni Tennille voice can't matched the atmosphere of the song very well. This is the main issue about discussing the worst hits of a boring year, you'll get more boring slogs as you progress and you just need a thesaurus for using other word than boring. So let's called this song meandering and move on before I fall asleep.

9. Now back to the disco demolition, one thing to keep in mind that even though there are a lot of homophobic and racist tone about that event especially amongst white Americans—there are some truth that a lot of artists who have never done disco made disco records. In a bid to stay relevant, a lot of artists are doing disco records from the respectable veteran to the newcomers from the new wave scenes. 1979 was chockfull of that to mixed result. On one hand you have Blondie making a disco classic by playing to their strength. On the other hand...you'll get this.

9. Emotional Rescue - The Rolling Stones 

This is the sad truth about disco. A genre that came from the black and gay community in America being co-opted by white acts in order to stay relevant or just biting it for the sake of biting it (I have a lot to say about Bee Gees but we won't get into that). And none had been more embarrassing as Mick Jagger doing it. The fact that he's only on his higher falsetto is a bad sign because I don't think he should sang in high falsetto to begin with. This song is an incoherent mess and about the furthest thing from sexy. The Rolling Stones strength are always their productions and here it's just gone. That cheesy trumpet alongside badly mixed percussion is just the death of disco. And Mick Jagger here singing about being her emotional rescue is just nauseating. 

At the end of the day, disco was never meant to be oversaturated. This song is a prime example as to why. Sure this year might have Funkytown, but more often than not, you would get stuff like this. And this won't be the last disco song on this worst list but we'll get to that soon. I don't think The Rolling Stones ever managed to recover after this even during the boomer nostalgia of the late 80s. And honestly with this song you can see why because this is terrible.

8. It's true that the 70s were really great for rock music as the classic rock entered the zeitgeist. But, those classic rock didn't really penetrated the singles chart at all. Most of them are successful on the Billboard 200 and really if I wanna include those songs on my eligibility rule, they must be on that Streaming chart you know. What I'm trying to tell here is that there's an AC/DC song in here.

8. Back in Black - AC/DC

Yup I'm pissing off y'all by putting AC/DC song on the worst list. To be fair I think this band has always been an acquired taste for a lot of people especially those who didn't grew up on the band, like me. Maybe it's because I didn't grew up on this band the reason why I don't like most of their song. But in reality I just can't stand Brian Johnson voice. It's so grating and hitting the right spot for me to become a headache. No amount of guitar solo and good production can saved a badly mixed vocal that annoyed me.

At the end of the day art is subjective and this is a prime example as to why. Because I know that this band is highly acclaimed. I know that a lot of people grew up with this band. And I know that this band is THE Australian band. But I hate to say it that once you removed from that context, you really find flaws that would be charming for most people. Look, I'm really still not sure if I wanna put this song above stuff I just mentioned, but in this year alone we have better ways of Brian Johnson being integrated into AC/DC song "You Shook Me All Night Long" is a good song. But this is just thin, badly produced, and obnoxious mess that I can't in my good faith to put it off the worst list. So yeah get all your pitchfork here and call me "liberal poptimist", but I just don't see the appeal, sorry.

7. You know, one thing that I haven't mentioned a lot especially talking about the history of popular music is that there's a lot of covers on the chart back in the day. The reason why the cover of Beggin' and Fast Car were strange by modern standard was because of how rare cover songs became a hit these days. Sampling and YouTube basically confined cover songs to be an oddity for YouTube and not a viable way to get a hit. A bit of a shame really since some cover songs really propelled a song to a new heights. But on the other hand — more often than not, you'll get stuff like this.

7. Daydream Believer - Anne Murray

Daydream Believer by The Monkees was an alright song. I think I prefer my Monkees to be more energetic and less trying to be more psychedelic like on I'm A Believer but that's a story for another day. What I'm getting at is that this cover version is very much worse than the original and honestly you can hear it for yourself. One thing I do love about making the worst hit of this year is that you can hear it for yourself and make assessment from that. There are gonna be few songs here that needed explanation as to how I don't like them, but this isn't one of them.

What I don't really like about this song is taking the heavy swell of the original and just butchered it to bits. I know it's probably because I didn't grew up on this cover — but good lord the main appeal of the song is lost here. Daydream Believer main drive has always been the melancholic yearning that The Monkees was perfected since The Beatles went on more experimental direction. Turning this into a country song not only losing some of that luster, but the corniness of the lyrics got highlighted and it clashed badly. Look, cover song can be great, this isn't one of them.

6. It's interesting looking back at the history of rock music and seemingly forgot their biggest and most successful era of rock music just because it's arena rock. Look I have listened to a lot of arena rock and for the most part they're actually pretty great. This song and this band is not.

6. Babe - Styx

I still can't quantified why I don't like Styx that much. Was it Denise DeYoung voice that drive me off the wall? Was it because the productions here are too slick even by the standard of arena rock, or was it the lyrics that always been confusing and kinda manipulative. Whatever it is, I can't shake that nagging feeling about Styx. And this song didn't help matter.

A lot of arena rock are also adjecent to the prog rock of the early 70s and that's why they're easily adapatable to the 80s synth revolution. On one hand you have Rush and Yes using those synth as a way to helped garnished their complex songs into one that has the sense of pop in it. Meanwhile Styx using synth like their life depended on it because apart from that the drums here are badly mixed, Denise DeYoung voice is still struggling as usual, and the harmonies pissed me off by how grating it is. And with basic ass lyrics about yearning platitude after leaving your love ones and you have something that put me to sleep. And then Denise Deyoung woke you up with his nasally vocal and I'm just left frustrated. 

5. Now I'm using the UK chart in this one mainly because I couldn't really find the real 100 most streamed songs released in 1980, but also to see what the rest of Europe are tuning into. And what I found interesting is that despite the fact that disco was supposed to be dead in the USA. In Europe, Disco was still thriving because there weren't as much overexposure as the American market. And also the fact that Europe are pretty ga- What this meant is that — alongside the bankruptcy of a lot of disco labels in the US, Lots of Europeans decided to make disco record and the result let's just say were mixed.

5. D.I.S.C.O. - Ottawan

Ottawan are a disco pop duo from France that was shortlived and only have two hits. This is one of those song — and probably the worst disco song on this list even if it was a nonexistant year for disco. A few problems about disco songs that people have forgotten about is that sometimes a lot of those songs — especially from famous artists, are overproduced or only reliant on the orchestra and not the tightness of the grooves. Now this one admittelly has a good bassline. But that guitar sounds really teeny, the backing vocals is too in front overpowering all the elements, and the lyrics just about Disco and how it's an acronym of anything these duo wanted it to be. The flute here sounded like it's about to die here and with the repetition — plus the general annoyance, make me feel very irritated. Maybe it was for the best that American let disco remained in exiles in Europe because this song is a headache and a half.

4. So far on this list you have seen me struggling talking about the worst songs of the year and truthfully that's probably to the year's detriment. Whenever there's a slump for pop music — as big as they are will impacted what gets to chart and what doesn't. And even then when you look at the album chart, you can see just how much better it is during the 70s to the mid 80s. And because Billboard only allowed singles that was released in both physical and airplay to chart, you'll get a lot of songs that just there to fill in the airtime — a lot of time for the worst.

4. All Out of Love - Air Supply

Again with soft rock and AOR my real issues with them is when they bored me to tears. I don't even hate Air Supply like that. When they worked with Jim Steinman for Making Love Out of Nothing At All — it was one of the most moving soft rock song of the 80s I know they are capable of making good song here. 

But this song has never impressed me at all and it's rather pathetic. The production here is borderline easy listening with the strings, the keyboard, and the guitar swampping the mix that drowned out both vocalists here. The fact that the only notable thing about this song is Russell Hitchcock's final note that lasted around 16 seconds tells me that this song is just not it. And did I mentioned that this song is pathetic? It's about this guy who trying to win back his ex — but not only is this always been one of my least favorite subject matter in music, but also at best you can get some emotionality and you can tell about what the artist is going through. But in this one it felt creepy and that's before the first draft of the song which the hook is "I'm all out of love, I want to arrest you" that was so bad Clive Davis — the soon to be record execs that would bring Santana's career back up, told them to rewrite the song. Unlike Escape (Pina Colada Song) you can't save this song due to good productions. 

3. Speaking of cover music — one thing you have to realized is that the history of cover music can feel a bit murky. There are historical record about white folks covering songs made by black artists just to sanded down what makes the song very special in the first place for white audience. Now with all that being said and especially after the disco demolition night, the fact that this cover of a beloved RnB of the 60s being covered badly this way? Yeah there's no excuse because Henry Wayne Casey from KC and The Sunshine Band you should know better.

3. Yes, I'm Ready - Teri DeSario with K.C.

If you don't know who Teri DeSario is, well it's because she's a one hit wonder that went to the same high school as Henry Wayne Casey the lead singer of a popular disco group KC and The Sunshine Band that broke through in the 70s. And yeah that backing vocal was from K.C. himself and it's as badly mixed as anything else from this trainwreck. Let's not mince words here KC and The Sunshine Band were awful in 1980 and Please Don't Go nearly made into the list — that was the final cut of the list. This is substantially worse though because well Teri DeSario is no Barbara Mason. The cheesy synth, the spare acoustic, the fact that they both have the same chemistry as oatmeal with water, and also butchering the original with this white bread facsimile of itself is just galling. But the fact that this song almost went to #1 is probably the worst part of the song. The fact that the mainstream public chose to propped up this song after the disco demolition is partly why this year was such a chore to go through. Nothing else to say really beside telling you all that she went on and makes Christian music...in the mid 80s. 

2. Even with all of that I do think that the worst songs of the least year is the one that went up and beyond in their shittyness. These two songs — with their flawed quality — are here because of something I'm actively annoyed by. This one annoyed me in audiological sense, in that I just don't know why Paul McCartney is making this type of song.

2. Coming Up - Paul McCartney

It's objectively true that Paul is the famous Beatles, but I feel like he's the one that has identity crisis with his solo career. You can see which Beatles is which and I think it's probably for the best that McCartney didn't have any type of personality. His stuff post The Beatles can be described as all over the place. He has his own band Wings in the 70s and then being part of the nostalgia circuit in the 80s and now he's being the elder guide for a lot of rock artists. But I can safely say that this is probably his worst song and I include Wonderful Christmastime and Ebony & Ivory in it. 

The main thing about this song is that it was actually the live recording of the song that became a hit. But the one that actually charted is the original version and it's horrible. It's basically a disco pisstake that might be sincere if it wasn't for that awful delivery. Why is he trying to sound like Donald Duck trying to suck up Goofy's dick and I don't make that analogy lightly no pun intended. That voice and that thin production is the only reason why this song is so high. You know we get to reprehensible shit with my #1 pick, but back then song that sounds like ass — that was enough for me to put it on my worst list and when you look at the dishonorable mentions...yikes.

Let's Get Serious - Jermaine Jackson

You wonder why only Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson were the few artists from the Jackson's family that broke through. I just can't stand Jermaine Jackson making this type of song with worse productions and substantially worse lyrics than his brother's Off The Wall and that album is really the most underrated Michael Jackson album. Stay tuned for the best list to find out why.

Please Don't Go - KC and The Sunshine Band

Like I said before this is probably the worst year for this band. The fact that they pivoted very hard from making disco tunes that's their biggest strength — to making the most gutless and frankly embarrassing RnB song that's almost yacht rock is just so dejecting. Probably the song that's emblematic of the death of disco.

Ships - Barry Manilow

Barry Manilow isn't as bad as some people make it out to be. I will defend Copacabana being better than Mack The Knife or Timothy as the most unexpectedly gruesome song of the century. But this is just lousy from him even moreso than I Write The Song. While this one is better produced than that song, it's just not worth it man.

Desire - Andy Gibb

Oh god another disco star making soft as shit ballad. Honestly this one just take it or leave it situation. But it's still a reflection as to how slumpiest of slump that was 1980.

Stand By Me - Mickey Gilley

Again the cover stuff is just egregious and especially covering Stand By Me, one of the most popular songs of all time. Like literally who wants to listen to this?

I'm Alright - Kenny Loggins

I'm not alright thanks.

And with all of that we can get to the worst song of the least year.

1. Sometimes the label "One hit wonder" thrown around willy nilly to anyone these days — especially when talking about older hits. When in reality they're always not true. Hearing people said Rick Ashley was a One Hit Wonder one more time and I'll go full on nerd emoji at you. A lot of people tend to put that label anyways because the follow up hits are always worse than their original hits. Take Vanilla Ice for example. His biggest hit is "Ice Ice Baby", but he had a follow up called "Play That Funky Music" and people forgot about the latter because it was somehow worse than the #1 hit. What I'm getting at is that it's no surprise that Rupert Holmes is only remembered for Escape (The Pina Colada Song) because his other hit this year is my worst hit song of 1980.

1. Him - Rupert Holmes

Rupert Holmes really perplexed me as a singer-songwriter. When it's not his song, he can write at least witty and funny tune. But when he writes something for himself, it became real chore and sometimes a bit condescending. There's this persumptious feels of the song like he's the alpha male dog and he can't be wrong especially around women. While Escape (The Pina Colada Song) can be cloying, the breezy feel of the song can excuse a lot, I actually like the production of that song.

Him on the other hand take those persumptious feel of the former and amped up to eleven with him finding out a pack of cigarrattes that wasn't his and just pouncing on the questioning. And the fact that he played it sincerly with the strings, the choral production, and the vamping it's just icky to listen to. Looking deeper into the lyrics and it just gets worse. On second verse, he said that he doesn't want to own her, but the fact that it followed by his questioning made him looked neurotic. I know it's probably a different time, but can he at least make the song breezy so that there's a plausible deniability here? That lyrics and that framing is why this is the worst song of the least year. Nothing actively making me irritated so you have to go up and beyond and this song did it for me. 

And that's it for this year...my god this year is just not good for talking about bad music. I think this is just my experiment for me to talk about one of the most infamous year for pop music and hopefully this is not a failed experiements. Actually my next post after my usual ranking will be 2022 best hit songs so stay tuned for that.