5/1/16

Billboard Top 40 Ranking Worst to Best

Well this charts has go downhill since winter. I mean obviously after a good year as 2015, the year after that can't stay it's momentum just looked at 2008. But I wasn't expecting this, the charts right now is sucking more than Fall 2014. And this isn't just me, everyone had panned this charts and what the direction it heading. And what better way to trash the charts right now other than review it. now here are some rule:

1. All the songs that I review in this page are the songs that in the Top 40 this week (30/04/2016).

2. To determine this chart quality, I'm going to use The Double Agent grade system so an awful songs will not receive points and Bad to Great will get points ranging from 1-5

3. This is just my opinions, so if you disagree with some of my opinions, just take it with a grain of salt.

Okay now I'm done with the rule, let's get into the chart. Starts off with the Awful songs which is 4 songs.


40. Work From Home by Fifth Harmony ft. Ty Dolla $ign 

Well what a start huh. Let's just get the positive thing straight away, the producer is really enhancing the synth loop from Daniel Bedingfield "Gonna Get Through This" by adding one or two notes just made it less awkward. but that's the only positive thing about this song because everything about this song is infuriating me. From the bare-bone production that mimic DJ Mustard formula, Camilla voice is more synthetic than usual, Ty Dollar $ign presence, and the chorus that rip-off "Work" by Rihanna badly and annoyingly frustrating. And that before we get into the lyric, where she sends so much nude pictures of his husband to get him fired so she can call him boss at home. First question, who want to marry this women, secondly, why this lyric is more creepy than it should, and why the writing is all over the place. Anyway I think this is the worst song on the top 40 and definitely a skip for me, Next!


39. NO by Meghan Trainor

Well no bad year will be completed without Meghan Trainor song. This is maybe the stupidest song of this year. This song is about Meghan went to club where some guy hitting her, and refuse him by saying "no" unconvincingly. And it beg a question, what is wrong with this guy that it needed whole song to destroy him, because for what she describe, he seems like a nice guy. And even if you really want to refuse his offer, that's a stupid way to defend yourself. There is only two things that could happen, either he could just move on with you, or he say fuck it and just date you anyway because your defend is too weak. And speaking of weak, this production. She seems want to emulate late 90's style production that used by Britney Spears or *NSYNC, but the execution is a train-wreck. The guitar is just an add-ons, the percussion here is too slow for this style, the bells is not that flattering, and the only thing this song can captured that 90's style is the bridge and that's only 30 seconds long maybe. I think this could've better if this sung by Katy Perry or P!nk, but as it is, it's a mediocre song from mediocre artist, Next!

38. One Call Away by Charlie Puth

This is haphazard at best. The lyric is underwritten and really cheesy with the stand-out line is "superman got nothing on me". The production is really bland, but that was the worst part of this song. It's so generic and calculated that it really made me cringe. Generic piano, those sophisticated percussion, and a gospel voice to made this song even more generic. Anyway this is just a worthless song and i wanted to leave the radio soon.


37. Let It Go by James Bay

I'm going to be honest that I liked James Bay and Hold Back The River is my contender of best song of last year. That said, why is he more famous as he is because this song, because it's sucked a lot. for starters he wanted to mimic the writing style of Justin Bieber, and wow it really showed. I know you wanted to ended your love but why you told this girl to let it go and her being her. It's seems kinda wrong and felt like I'm just witnessing some couple argument accidentally and it felt awkward. And why is James Bay voice is more grating than usual. Even though the production is really good because the liquid guitar, but the lyric and sentiment is bad enough that it landed in the Shit tier.

36. Pop Style by Drake ft. The Throne

Keep in mind that this 10 songs is on Bad Tier. and man this is bad song material. Dinky melody against the cheery piano and trap beat. It felt like there's a classical performance in a post-apocalypse world. Drake sound so lazy in this one, I know you're getting mocked for getting lazy, but "Got so many chain the called me Chaining Tatum" , Justin Timberlake reference, and Jay-Z only sing two bars makes this more wasted of my time. But this is only in the bad tier because kanye verses. And odd Street Fighter sample which was lifted form TLOP. but yeah it's still a bad song and hopefully the Album doesn't suck please?

35. Hands To Myself by Selena Gomez

Great after a good song from Selena Gomez, we got the worst one. The lyric is about Selena taking too much molly and groping someone at the festival and yet the innocent tone of the song making this song so immature and stupid. Her vocals is so airy and so processed that I can't make the different with any other singer. Nothing to say about this song because it suck.

34. Work by Rihanna ft. Drake

Well I got sick of this song now, Now the accent of her is not novel, it's grating as hell. The beat and melody is Unfinished and kinda drowned out by the bass. and Drake what you doing here, to be fair he's the best part of the song where he pays some sympathy for Rihanna who really want to have sex. but why is he referencing Rollin' by Limp Bizkit. And that chorus is really annoying as all hell. Hopefully this song is getting stalled out at number one by Panda or I Took A Pill In Ibiza.

33. Stitches by Shawn Mendes

Why this song hasn't go out in the top 40 yet, it's so stiff. The writing is awkward, he's voice is just style, the guitar is too thin, the percussion is too loud, the harmony of Mendes voice is awful, and why is this song felt so heavy and light at the same time. Either way this song is warned out it's welcome and I'm happy if this song is gone.

32. Down In The DM by Yo Gotti

This song is just sounded like someone Dad who really wanted to get attention with his kid and be cool and hip to the Millenials. His flow were fine but it sounded so jarring against this production, the melody is maybe from Legend Of Zelda game I don't know where but I think it was on Link To The Past. And he talked about stealing girl as usual and bragging about his Instagram and Snapchat, Oh my god this is so pandering, no wonder it was his biggest hit to date.

31. One Dance by Drake ft. Wizkid & Nyla
This song wasn't bad lyrically, he wanted to took his stress by dancing with someone else that's is cute honestly. But this production is a wreck, yeah it's catchy but it's also quite torturous. The dancehall riff against Piano hit it balance out by the bass but somehow the tone is kinda off. But it turns for the worst, in Wizkid verse, the guitar is too thin and the drum was too loud that it drowned out his voice. In Nyla verse she so badly layered that it's kinda creepy. And the bridge that's so unfinished and so compressed I thought my laptop is glitch. Drake why?

30. Middle by DJ Snake

This is the worst DJ Snake song since Turn Down For What at least that song had Lil' Jon, this song got Bipolar Sunshine doing his best Calvin Harris impression, and failed hard. It starts out pretty nice I'll admit it, the synth, the xylophone, and the reverb here it all worked. But the drop happened and I was wonder that DJ Snake is one trick phony. With those ear-splitting synth, to the pitched shifted vocal, and how repetitive this sound we heard this before and you didn't bring any new to the table. so yeah not excited for that album DJ Snake.

29. 2 Phones by Kevin Gates

I'm actually liked this song the first time I heard, until the third verses. Where he called her barbie doll and her smell so fishy He had her drowned. Not the fact that the flow is so goofy it's almost insulting to joke about drowning. And not helping that the production here is consisted on digital melody over bass and trap beat. Just a worthless song from okay rapper, Next!

28. Back To Sleep by Chris Brown

Great another Chris Brown song with grating autotune and so badly layered, you can't even made out the melody was. And it would have been fine if the lyric wouldn't be sleazy as fuck. The content of this song is Chris purposely late to came home to fuck this girl into sleep. WHY ANYONE LIKED THIS GUY? 

27. Exchange by Bryson Tiller

Why is most of this songs on the bad tier are boringly bad, eh whatever. Anyway this song is blows. From the eerie melody, and chipmunk backing vocal that honestly the worst part of this song. As for the lyric he's kinda wanted to back being her boyfriend and wanted to be a different to his girl, but on the final verse, he explicitly stated that he wanted to fuck her anyway because why the hell not, and it really pains me that he's voice is remind me of Chris Brown mash-up with The Weeknd. which is why the lyric is so infuriating.

Now the shit was get cleaned up, now let's go to the Meh Tier which is song that I'd say it's not badso ever.

26.Sorry by Justin Bieber

This was really good for couple of month, and then the sentiment and the tone kicked in and I don't like this thing any more. His douchebaggery is really what killed this song. it's way too pissy and kinda insufferable. Even Skrillex can't saved this song with his good house-tropical production, so Sorry for that.

25. Somewhere On A Beach by Dierks Bentley

I think this song flawed is the beach vibe is the excuse for Dierks Bentley to be sleazy without everyone notice it. Other than that it's passable I guess, I mean this is Drunk On The Plane part two right? But with those guitar, those drums, and Bentley himself, it seems not like it. So is a passable song and if it played on the radio I'm fine with it.


24. 7 Years by LUKAS GRAHAM!!!!!!

While I liked this song of how it was sound, the lyrics is kinda crap. Because let's face it, it's about his dream and his future and describe it all. And it would be fine if this song wasn't so arrogant and so selfish at the same time. As i said the production is what made this song is passable, with those music box instrument to an strings section that sounded really beautiful. If you wanted this type of song that not arrogant and selfish, look up Remember When by Alan Jackson.


23. Don't by Bryson Tiller


This lyric is sucked ass. It's bitter, sour, and manipulative. But why am I hated this less than Exchange, well maybe is the the production that's too eerie that it makes it boring, or maybe it's because his flow made this song sounds so familiar with dozen of songs from Drake or Chris Brown. Yeah maybe both.


22. Low Life by Future ft. The Weeknd

Keep in mind that I've never heard of this song except in the top 100 video from HRcharts. So I can't made some argument that I hated or liked this song.  I think meh tier is the perfect placement of this song not just because I found the snippet of this song is boring. it's also the song that I didn't care in the future so take this placement with a grain of salt.


21. Me, Myself,& I by G-Eazy ft. Bebe Rexha

I liked this production and the hook, It has a perfect balance between gritty and cheery at the same time without the two of the is clashing into each other and make it awkward, and Bebe Rexha sounded great as usual. So why is this song is just on the meh tier. Well the part of it is that G-Eazy is a boring MC that has nothing to offers. And the lyric is like 7 Years, only the difference is that 7 Years ramble about fame and his come-up of that said fame. while this song is the aftermath of the fame like being a narcissist and being selfish. so yeah I'd rather take the instrument than the lyric thank you.


20. My House by Flo Rida

My House is the most inessential song on pop radio. NEXT!!!!


Now that was the songs that I didn't care, now to the song that I care, a little bit. Here's the Decent tier


19. PILLOWTALK by Zayn

Even though this isn't as good as sHe or dRuNk, it's still decent albeit barely. Yeah he's a good singer and I'm kinda a sucker for sex songs that are chaotic like say The Other Side or dRuNk. But the production here is bland as "mature music" goes, and the melody do bit stuck in your head, but other than that this song is feel lumpy at best. So yeah good effort but it could have been better.

18. Panda by Desiigner
  
I don't know why I kinda like this song, I'm still questioning about this song is good or not. but maybe because the framing of this song. Because the lyric is just luxury porn with comparing his car colour to Panda, this is would be insufferable if the MC was bored or even lazy. but the framing is worked because he kinda chuckles of how ridiculous the lyric is and kinda run along with it. And couple with good flow and bars makes this song really fun and yeah it's a bit flawed but god damn it do I liked it.


17. Needed Me by Rihanna


Wow this is wasn't what I was expected to be, I thought it was going to be terrible but almost all the elements here worked. I liked the vocal fragment at the chorus is looped so it's kinda felt like more tropical sounded than Work, it's kinda nice touch. And those windmill patterned Synth is good foundation too. but it's kinda annoying that I can't make up what the hell Rihanna was saying 75 percent at the time. but that was just minor nitpick.


16. Jumpman by Drake ft. Future

When I first heard about this song I was just roll my eyes. I mean this is about Drake and Future bragging stuff as usual with a bit of imagination with basketball reference. But if it backed up with this good trap instrumental backed up with those Crow voice made this song so addictive, solid song with uninteresting lyric.


15. Love Yourself by Justin Bieber
I kinda like this song because that horn bridge and that guitar is really sounded good. But I don't know why I didn't really like this song as much. Maybe because of the lyric that seems like joking around about his ex-girlfriend and his broke up with her and seems kinda bitter, or because this song is kinda pivot to "White Guy With Acoustic Guitar", or even because it's co-written by Ed Sheeran which made this song weird and jolty. Yeah maybe because him that made me less like this song.

Now into some song that I liked whole lot that is Good Tier.


14. Don't Let Me Down by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya

This song is really caught me off guard because it kept grew on me for the past 3 weeks. It's because the production and Daya performance. I don't know how she got this voice range, but I liked it a lot. Kinda reminds me of MO but with more opulent and less in style but more with the strength. And hell this production is really good too despite the chorus is kinda thin and didn't pay-off the crescendo really well. But with that slick liquid guitar, gleaming synth, and those trumpets sets on the bridge and final chorus backs off pretty well with those scattering hi-hat and pumping percussion. the lyric is kinda a bummer because till this day I still can't made up what this song is about. But that's just me and lacks understanding of English language. Because this song is kicks-ass.


13. Think Of You by Chris Young ft. Cassadee Pope

I think we can say that Country is now bit improving over this past spring. Not only there's no Country songs on the Awful or Bad Tier. and Luke Bryan and Thomas Rhett is out from the charts (For now at least, because T-Shirt is kinda rising and I didn't like it at all). But while there're not in the top 40, I'm just happy. And it seems like we've got song from Chris Young, the most good sounded country singer behind Eric Paslay. And yeah it's really good, because it's really melancholic because him and Cassadee is a friend and met at the bar where they remembering the old times together, but as a couple not a friend. I think this song could've been better if the production isn't so calculated to pop country sound and can carrying the melancholic of the lyric. But that's just minor problem to otherwise fun track.


12. Close by Nick Jonas ft. Tove Lo

This song almost on my bad tier until Tove Lo comes in. This song needed the mutual relation between two peoples, because if this just Nick Jonas song it would be creepy and disturbing to some point where he said "cause space is just the word made up by someone whose afraid to get close". But Tove Lo comes in and stated that she wanted this thing anyway so win-win for everybody. And man this chorus is kicked ass, Rattling hi-hat, eerie melody that match up with oddly steel drums triplets, and big percussion and bass hit that made tis song more chaotic. One issue that I had was the tone didn't match up with this disturbing imagery and this erotic thing they do, kinda made this song cheery in the wrong way possible. But I'm still recommended this song.


11. Cake By The Ocean by DNCE

Is this a crime for liking this song, because I didn't found anything bad about this song. It played the same lane of Mark Ronson and Maroon 5 for revived Funk, so why everyone hated this song. Maybe the subject of this song about having sex on the beach using cake metaphor and remembered the last time some artist used this metaphor. or the chorus that splattered with thin synth and Joe Jonas falsetto. But even with all that I still liked this song. That bass line is good, the guitar brings this song goofy tone into 100. and those drums that really sounded good. Will this song is going in my best list, NO. But as it is this song is good and one that I listened to this summer.


10. Stressed Out by Twenty One-Pilot

Every year there's some new band that had some hit every year since 2004 and the trend is wide open in 2012 where there's fun, Gotye, Neon Trees, The Lumineers, and heck even K-Pop at that year is charting high as #2. But I'm still startled about this band and how they got popular from a song in their album last year. But I know why because this song is good. From the muted melody against staccato drums. sit of bass. and generally this song is really good production wise. But this song is about narration and man is this really interesting. This is about the character "Blurryface" facing mid-life crisis where he felt insecure and he faced the real life upon him and how he remembered the simple times where he built house tree and it's relatable as hell. and yeah the outro is kinda bad but it doesn't mattered because this is really good.

Now to 10 songs that I appreciate the most and would probably go into my best list. it's Great Tier.


9. oui by Jeremih


Everything about this song is made me happy. From the Piano, the crunching percussion, the bass, and his soulful singing made this song so cute. And the lyric is helping because he wanted to impressed this girl with this pick-up line "there's no oui without you and I" it's really charming and surprisingly clever where he played this word. If this the direction Jeremih is heading, I might be checked that out because this song is amazing.


8. Hello by Adele

It's kinda surprising that Adele is still can turn out two hits in this album where let's face it it's good but not great. But this is one of the best song in that album. smokey percussion behind that beautiful piano and gospel touched choir made this song quite beauty. But this song is kinda get synthetic with the chorus by added the synth and it didn't worked at least for me. But the selling point of this song are in the lyric showing her vulnerablity and her forgiving of his ex-boyfriend and it felt really heartfelt and I loved it.


7. Dangerous Women by Ariana Grande
I didn't think that I could be the next sexy thing with this album cover alone, but I can say this that Dangerous would be at my best list this year. I've always liked Ariana when she underplayed his vocal and not belting, although her belting is fine but it's kinda grating like in Focus where he can't controlled her voice. And it showed in here where she played as a "Dangerous Women" almost well. But this production here is really good. Muted guitar behind reverb touched percussion, creeping bass, and a guitar solo at the bridge that's sounded really good. Either way you should check out this song, it's amazing.


6. Never Forget You by Zara Larsson ft. MNEK

This song is really epic, It start from reverb Piano then followed by the foundation melody before the bass heavy drops that sounded really good with crunchy percussion and warping bass.Their chemistry is perfect and they sounded so good. The lyric is kinda a mess to be honest. On the first verse it seems like she's broke up with this guy and can't move on with him, but the two lines on the second verse is kinda contradict the first verse stating that she's going back to this guy. I don't know but that's why this song is here.


5. Roses by The Chainsmokers ft. Rozes
If you told me in 2014 that the best song currently at the chart in 2016 was made by The Chainsmokers, I would just laughed at your face. But yeah here we come to their best song to date. Faded melody, booming bass, hazy synth and the vocal fragment that didn't pissed me off that much. that's really impressive guys. The lyric is not meaning less but it's kinda nonsensical at best but it made this song more lively and bubbly mostly thanked to Rozes voice which is good. You sir is the most improved artist of 2016, congrats guys.


4. Humble And Kind by Tim McGraw

You probably question why this song is high up at this ranking, welp because I'm kinda a sucker for this song message that is always humble and just be kind to anybody. And paired that with this beautiful production made this such a compelling song and probably the best country song of this year but there's one more song that outrun this song in terms of lyric, framing and production. You wanna know what it is well wait and just see.


3. The Hills by The Weeknd

This is one of the best song from the weeknd adn it's not hard to see why. The dark atmosphere of this song from the oily synth to the overpowered bass punctuated by the screaming, and the bridge where he's doing this bad thing as usual for the Weeknd, and getting looked at society about his bad behaved. That's the strength of this song is that he's action is seen as dangerous and he's becoming the antagonist of this song and yeah this is my jam from last year and if I talked too much about this song it would be two pages of essay so to sum it up this song is great.


2. You Should Be Here by Cole Swindell

You surprised huh, Cole Swindell song is the best country song this year. And it's not hard to see why. Gentle piano backed by steel guitar and organic percussion touched by reverb. But that's not why I liked this song, it's the lyric. You can say that this song is just another bro-country songs with mentioning beer and some other cliche like that. but he's smart to frame this song as for his Dad who's passed away before saw his son got popular. It so gripping and almost top this ranking but there's one song that ruled my year. and that is


1. I Took A Pill In Ibiza (SeeB Remix) by Mike Posner

Yes my number one song of this year is from Mike Posner. And once again it's not hard to see why. His singing was tone down so he's not grating, his writing is on point, and the production is fucking great. From the synth to the percussion and the bass, it reminds me a lot from Lean On by Major Lazer. And the pace of this song is perfect and probably the best pace of this year. And mine as well talked about the lyric that's about Mike Posner life after his song become hit and how he realized that the fame he got was just empty and the depression he had even wanted to impressed Avicii at the festival. This is probably the saddest yet the most catchy song on the Hot 100 right now.


Now that was done and we gonna give it point so here's the math equation for it




And this is how I ranked the week

200 = Fantastic week
199-150 = Great week
149-100 = Good week
99-50 = Bad week
49-0 = Awful week

So this week is decent for the Top 40 but hopefully the summer is kinda fix this situation so see you soon for my birthday specials. What is it, wait for it

See you soon, Goodbye!!!



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