12/29/15

Top 10 Worst Hit Songs Of 2015



Happy Holidays readers and welcome to my three part blog where I picked out in my opinion the worst songs of 2015. Now the rule of this is I picked songs that are in year end list of this year and ranked them and talk about it.

Before we get into the list, I want to talk about this year of music. And holy god this is a great year for music, and might be surpassed 2011 in terms of quality and performance, but it doesn’t quite beat 2012 which is outright awesome. For the past spring I decided to write top 20 best hit songs, because the songs that’s on the chart at that time was downright classic and hell the album release were good too, from Kendrick Lamar and Twenty One Pilot, there’s a lot of quality here. But the summer happened and look, this summer isn’t bad more of being disappointment then anything else as the bad but not outright awful songs plague the charts. But thankfully autumn (and yes I called it autumn because calling it falls is doesn’t feel right, atleast for me) is backing thing’s on track by the dominance of Canadian act like returning of Justin Bieber, Drake, and even new stars like Alessia Cara, and Shawn Mendes.

My point’s is that well this wasn’t quite amazing as 1985 or 2012, i’ll easily take this over last year abomination. But still as good as this year was, there is a lot of crap that still played at radio so without further or too here’s my dishonourable mention.

DM1. Earned It by The Weeknd






Okay can we just say that fifty shades of gray is one of the worst thing ever, between the awkward chemistry, borderline offensive usage of BDSM, and boring script. Can we just make this movie win a lot of Razzies. But apparently the public can tolerate all of that and eventually the soundtrack of this movie landed on the chart, two of them in fact. And this is probably the worst one. What the hell the producer thinking this instrument sounded sexy or matching the movie. Yes I know it supposed to sounded classy and match Christian Grey personality, but this is so stiff. From the strings that is blend in with orchestra background, the trumpet and brass at the chorus, and the crescendo that’s so botch. But this song is on the list because of The Weeknd, now I’m fan of The Weeknd but why is he used autotune and it’s so irritating and the outro is way too long. It’s not the least sexy sex songs of this year but this one is pretty boring one, Next.
  


DM2. Watch Me by Silento


So, you were expecting this song would be high on my list, but I’m gonna be honest and say that Watch Me isn’t that bad. For what it tried to do, Silento make this thing worked as a dance vine song with it minimalist lyric to do his dance (even though all of them is made up like eight or nine year ago) and his voice that just grating enough for kid to not sick of this. So why is this on here, well the instrument and production is the reason why. It lacked the energy and it’s really annoying, the synth sounded like bad chiptune keyboard, snap percussion, gritty bass line and bell to make this even more annoying. There’s far worse rap dance songs in this year but I hoped this trend will end this year, Next.

DM3. I Don’t F*** With You by Big Sean ft. E-40
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR_X6PrASho




Umm Big Sean, you know that if you swear too much at the chorus doesn’t make you sound so sincere and more like incompetent asshole. Not only you sounded like whiny baby after you being cheated, but when you had a new girlfriend you wanted to rub everything about you and your new girl doing on your ex. That’s really not cool to do that, but to give this song credit, E-40 verse is not bad at all. His bars and flow is really solid and I like it for that. But where this song stumble is in production on this song and Kanye West contribute to this song. The choir is fine but the voice sample is too gratin in otherwise pretty decent DJ Mustard track. With those tinkling back synth, those off note central synth there’s kinda gap between the hi-hat and the bass, and usual DJ Mustard formula. So yeah this song is bad so next.


DM4. Classic Man by Jidenna ft. Roman Gianarthur




Hey it’s a copy of Fancy by Iggy Azalea. I mean seriously those synth tone pattern, the crowd chant, and he synth build-up. They only added trap instrument and that’s it. And the lyric is basically like Fancy, acting classic while not being classy I mean this is a copy of fancy. And how much I hate Fancy that is saying something, Next.

DM5. No Type by Rae Sremmurd
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzMrK-aGCug


Well this year is not good for hip-hop (atleast in the mainstream) and this is one of many, many hip-hop songs in this list, so I’m gonna go through this quickly. The synth sounded like NES game, the bass is too loud, the hi-hat is limp, and two of them can barely rap. And the subject matter, well everyone have talked about it so I’m not gonna talked about it, but the Kardashian line is really stupid. Hopefully their fame is not going long and we can dumped them in world star vine.


Well that was fairly shorts, so let’s start this list with some sour note shall we.


10. Okay i didn’t hate this artist, i’m still remember his band at the late 2000’s and some songs from this band and I liked it and hell his solo single is really good but he had too put this as his debut single
  
Jealous by Nick Jonas






 

There is a lot problem about this song but let’s get to the positive of this song, the instrument and production. I’ll admit that this song is catchy as hell, the rollicking  percussion, the organ on the chorus, backing synth this is 80’s synthpop done correctly. But this song problem is lyrical content and framing. This song is about
nick is being suddenly protective of his girl because some guy saw him and he get jealous. Now I’ll admit this is a not bad concept at all, after all it’s not a new subject Taylor Swift is doing this too. But this song is getting worst because of this line “It’s my right to be hellish, I’m still get jealous” so it’s your right to be “hellish” for your protection to your girl because you jealous if she got flirted, okay dude that’s way too far. Just because you jealous doesn’t mean you can locked your girl at home or worst beating your girl because you wanted your relationship to be perfect. But you know what, fine if he want to do that but frame this song as you been hurted, I mean that’s the selling point of Blank Space is. But he frame this song as sexy and he’s in the right, yeah no screw this song. Next.

9. Holy crap this is really annoying




Post To Be by Omarion ft. Chris Brown & Jhene Aiko

 
The big hit song by DJ Mustard must be on the list, now I admit this song is complex but that doesn’t make it good. Yeah the synth it had texture and the flute is really good and bass had more layer. But all of them is ended with off note and it’s annoying as hell, because if all of them is ended with off note, all of the element of this song is fall apart and it’s sounded so messy. And it’s not helping that all of the artist in this track is douchebags. The best douchebag in here is Jhene Aiko, where she flipped the situation with stealing your boyfriend and her verse is ridiculous enough to propel the song from being lower in this list. But all of the artist in this song is too sleazy. Omarion sounded like Jason Derulo without auto tune, and Chris Brown wanted to “kill it with his penis”. And you know what is surprising fact of this song, that I wanted to like it more then I do, the first time I heard it, I was hooked by how complex this song is. But it’s merely good so sorry.

8. I can’t hate this song as much as I wanted to be, because I don’t think this song should had much attention as it did. Don’t get me wrong, I hate this song, but it didn’t offend me as much as everyone else. But I do agree one thing, Ne-Yo don’t make this song again


She Knows by Ne-Yo ft. Juicy J

 





Okay let’s get the Elephant in the room, the pedophile undertone of this song didn’t anger me all that much. Yes pedophilia is really bad and my country (Indonesia) had that problem too, but I think its that the producer of this song didn’t know the
“Daddy” line is in this song and they found that sample voice, thinking that it was cool, and they putting it on the song. It’s not ruined the framing of this song about Ne-Yo first time at the strip club and tell the story to all around the world. My problem on this song is instrumentation's, the muted saxophone that sounded synthetic and nonstop, blistering bass, Inert synth line, and of course the compressed sound sample. And it’s clunky as all hell, when the rap verse from Juicy J, and he does bring in some good bars about his many experience at strip club was the best thing about the song, you have problem there. So yeah if you wanted a strip club anthem that’s actually good with Juicy J on it, listen to “I Don’t Mind”. But otherwise next.  


7. You know this year has been quiet for country music, with just merely four songs that reached the year-end List. And all three of them are great, but there’s one exception here



Kick The Dust Up by Luke Bryan

So this is That’s My Kind Of Night part 2 right? I mean seriously the drum machine, banjo, compressed guitar, synth and organ, and… is that trap instrument I hear. But the big problem of this song is the production, at the chorus, the guitar is drowned out by the synth and get drowned out by the organ and all of it get’s drowned out by the drum which is getting drowned by the cymbals. So great this song is more percussion then melody, which mean that I’m not gonna remember this song. The only positive of this song is 11 seconds guitar solo, because the guitar isn’t get drowned out by drum. As for Luke Bryan, look he tried so hard to make this song worked, but why he sounded so lifeless and not energetic like his other track, Strip It Down sounded more energetic then this mess and this is why Kick The Dust Up is the worst country song of this year.


6. Young Money is fucking us this year


Only by Nicki Minaj ft. Drake, Lil Wayne & Chris Brown


Well isn’t this all we want, Young money featuring Chris brown, YAY!!!!!. So is it going to be god awful or a piece of carbonite turd, well it actually boring as tar. I rather listen to john cage 4’33” five times before I want to hear this song. Okay that’s exaggeration but WOW talked about chore to listened to. Four note synth, the bass line had this weird pattern, hi-hat that’s uncontrollable, high pitched voice that’s so reminiscent of the seagulls sound in Finding Nemo, creepy strings at the
chorus, and all of them in reverb. But surprised the worst part of this song are the performers. Nicki flow is awful and her verse is corny at best, Drake, what are you even doing man you’re embarrassing yourself and his verse we’re asinine, Lil Wayne sounded high and gross, and Chris Brown used migos flow on the chorus. Is it worst than Anaconda, NO!. but this just chore to listen through and the most boring Hip-Hop song of this year.

5. You thought Watch Me was bad, now here this

Hit the Quan by IHeartMemphis


This song was unexpectedly bad, like when i was heard this i thought that this could have work because that's his dance. But when i hitted the play button, the oily synth started playing and after that, the bass and cheap hi-hat appeared. and it went downhill after that. Because we have the performer who sounded like Swae Lee from Rae Sremmurd mixed with Silento with a bit of arrogance and more annoying then the former two. The lyric is not good either, on the first verse he teach us how to do the quan i believe, on second verse he talked about how awesome to do the quan and with Ninja Turtle reference which is the best part of this song. Can i go now i've already cover all the thing about this song so next?

4. Now, this four songs is my personal disappointment of this year from artist that i like. So let's talk about the most embarrassing one


Bitch Better Have My Money by Rihanna
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQW2FFt3-A8


What the hell is wrong with you Rihanna, i liked your stuff man. like SOS, Disturbia, Pon The Replay, And Shut Up and Drive, but her recent output is nothing of a letdown. Diamonds is boring really quick, Pour It Up is passable enough but it still mediocre, and Birthday Cake was borderline unlistenable. but this is her low point yet, Greasy synth, clattering hi-hat, messy percussion, bassline that's botched, piano bridge, and for some reason her voice needed pitch shifting in outro that sounded like Clipping leftover. And not helping that this is one of the worst performance of her carear, her nasal and cracking delivery not convince me that she sounded hard and kinda sounded like 13 year-old. And even with all of that the worst part is the lyric, where Rihanna wanted her bitch to give his money, so she's a pimp. WHY!!!!!! and if that not enough she threatened her bitch by shooting, drive by, and domestic assault. Okay i know that you and Chris Brown "apologize" and made song together, but you're the victim of assault. There is a reason that her album delayed to this year, it's because of this song and hopefully that the album is good or doesn't have this song okay.

3. And this disappointment is the whitest and the least sexy of all this year

Marvin Gaye by Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor

Here's something that will blow your mind, i like Charlie Puth. Yeah even though his falsetto is not that great but he is genuine enough to liking him and his sincerity in See You Again and One Call Away is enough to win me over. but this song is bad the first time and gotten even worst. seriously America, you want this easy listening crap like this that's sounded like Pat Boone comeback song instead of some adult contemporary, because this is so white. Subtle piano, shimmering bells, fucking gang vocals and trap percussion. The last time trap production was used by a young artist was Hideaway by Daya, but at least she write better lyric than this. outside of the worst first line in the song that used Marvin Gaye to a verb and sounded so incompetent, and yes for the record this is a sex song, but what i've got was elementary school singing contest. because they didn't know what they were talking about, neither of them had sex and the metaphors not worked at all. "Kamasutra show and tell", "a dog without a bone", this is very childish and juvenile. The last time i heard this song so unsexy was Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band, but at least the lyric is connected to sex. this is just pathetic in way shape and forms. lets hope One Call Away is charting higher then this please.

2.  When i was writing this list, i'm sure this would be my number one. but after some consideration and some relisten, this song was bump out to number two. but that doesn't mean that this song is good

Dear Future Husband by Meghan Trainor

Now if you looking this song for it's catchy tune and the Doo-Wop, this song is for you but don't think so much on the lyric because they're horrible. Meghan write a list for future husband, honestly it sounded childish but whatever what is her demand. well for a start she wanted flower's every anniversary and get respect, okay that is cute and cool but this song is slowly turn her into insane women. it's right at the final verse in the second chorus "You'll never gonna see your family more then mine". it's not so much future husband so much like future slave. and with all of that and being a doormat in the bridge, you might get some kisses. yeah this song is teach us if you want to get a husband, you must act crazy and they should tolerate it. yep this gonna be the destruction of morale in this world but it's not my number one. you know what's worst than this.

1. This song was solely because disappointment and revived the dance craze trend's, so without further or two my worst song of this year

7/11 by Beyonce

I still can't believe that Beyonce, my diva made this song. because she is never good played her ratchet side like Diva, Single Ladies and this one which propable one of the worst songs of her entire carrear. And this her biggest hit this year and not Runnin' (Lose It All) it's a crime. she's sounded terrible in this and she wanted to make a dance craze as well made me very angry because she can do much better then this. and somehow it gotten worst when she saying alchohol 8 times in one verse over menacing synth, clattering hi-hat and warped bass with outro that's way too long. I'm honestly don't have a word to describe how awful this song is so let's wrap up and see you next year



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